August is my birthday month, but birthdays haven’t felt quite the same since losing my mom in May 2019. She was my best friend, my confidant, my first home, and my safe space. She called me her baby girl even well into my 40s—and I never imagined how much I would miss hearing those words. This National Grief Awareness Day, I’m finding my way back to writing and reflecting on the complicated space between celebrating another year of life and grieving the person who brought me into this world.
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A Moment in time…
May 23, 2019 at 9:14:32AM. A date and time I will never forget. A date and time forever etched in my soul, on my heart, and in my brain. A date and time I wish I could erase. May 23, 2019 at 7:15AM. Another date and time I will never forget. A date and time, …
Falling apart
Dear Friend…I cannot adequately express what you have done for me! Yesterday’s unexpected landmine rocked me, broke me apart again and not only were you available for me, you came running to sit with me and put me back together! 3 hours that you took out of you day, away from the girls, days before …
Want to help…
Truth! So thankful for those of you have done this for me!! You’ve ignored the awkward, stayed and talked…even cried with me! I will forever be grateful for you and I will never forget how you have loved me through this pain! #SheLoved #PattiLulu This post was first written on Facebook on July 1, 2019
Some Validation I was in need of
I highly recommend this book! It validated EVERYTHING I am feeling!! I’ve only finished the first Part I: For Those Who Are Grieving. This section of the book was written as of the author was in my head! I’ve begun Part II: How To Comfort Someone Who is Grieving. So far so good. I’m looking …
And yet we are Thankful
As I posted on Wednesday, grief is a crazy, horrible, complicated thing! It sucks! It is hell! And it is…so complicated and MESSY!!!! This morning as I grieve losing mom and missing her I was also feeling excitement, be it anxious excitement! I’m also feeling sad and a bit of joy. I had a 10:00 …
I’d like to give my title back, PLEASE!!!
This… EVERY thing changes, EVERY THING, EVERY LITTLE THING! 💔 😞 💔 Never the same…tomorrow is 5 weeks. Life changed in 2 hours time and I will never be the same person I was 5 weeks ago tonight. I want to give my title back!! I want to take Kiddo to his well child/sports physical …
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One month…
Started a new book today…Grief Day by Day. Cannot believe I haven’t talked to her in 1 month! Not since infancy has that happened! I’ve learned so much in this month; things I never wanted to learn especially at this age! I really thought I had another 25 years with her😢 What I learned first …
Blessed by Angels on Earth
As I head to bed tonight, trying to fend some sickness off, I cannot be more grateful for the friends that I have! This is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through in my life and it is a club membership that NO ONE wants to be a part of! And if you …
Love is not in sight, but in the heart
THANK YOU! Your show of support today, all of these days since mom left, have been overwhelming to us! We KNEW that mom LOVED BIG and that SHE LOVED FIERCE! But oh my! We didn’t expect the turnout of people we saw today! The number of you whom have reached out with a text, a …